Still Your Song
by Mrs. Elizabeth Gibbs
Summary: Future-fic, set to the song by the Goo Goo Dolls. Quinn calls Rachel, ready to confess how she feels- but finds she's a decade too late; the brunette is married to Finn, acting on Broadway, and a mom. The blonde reflects on what she wasted. Faberry sorta.


A/N: I wrote this for my friend Kate and posted it on tumblr, and though I'd put it up on fanfiction too. A future-fic to the Goo Goo Dolls song of the same name, it's mostly a Quinn-angst piece. Please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I don't own a single thing.

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_Called you up ten years too late_

_Just to hear your voice again_

_I know your voice is still the same_

_I know that something's changed_

Quinn Fabray held the phone up to her ear, one knee bent with her chin resting on it, the other tucked underneath her body as she listened to the continual ringing. Her apartment was silent aside from the hum of the coffee pot, the leather sofa she was sitting on creaking slightly as she adjusted her weight.

Finally there was the click of someone picking up, and she heard a voice she'd thought about for the past decade.

"Rachel Berry-Hudson speaking who's calling?"

Quinn's heart stopped for a moment at the voice of the girl she'd been in love with since senior year; she swallowed and tucked a few strands of blonde hair behind her ear before speaking.

"Hey Rachel…it's Quinn."

There was a moment of silence and the sound of something being placed on a table before Rachel replied, and Quinn merely sat, biting her lip as she waited to hear her voice again.

"Quinn, it's been years- how are you? Are you okay? Is something wrong?" Rachel asked, genuine concern and worry coming through her voice. Quinn's eyes watered and she took a deep breath as silently as she could, not wanting to alert Rachel to the tears threatening to pour down her cheeks. Rachel had always cared, no matter what- for goodness sake's she'd smacked the girl in the bathroom at prom when they were juniors! "Quinn?"

"Oh no, I'm fine," Quinn said, trying to mask the thickness of her voice with a laugh- but even to her ears it sounded fake. "I just wanted to see how you were, maybe try to catch up. I'm living in New York now, and was wondering if you were free to get coffee or something."

_My words are choked and full of tears_

_But still you listen to me dear_

_And someone's calling you away_

_And now I understand_

"Oh sure, I'd love to Quinn-" Rachel's voice was interrupted by the high-pitched cry of a child, and Quinn's eyes widened. "I'm sorry, Lily is crying, give me a minute."

Quinn bit her lip and closed her eyes as she heard Rachel hushing the child through the phone, a few tears leaking out of her eyes as she struggled to pull herself together.

She was the one who hadn't spoken up when Rachel and Finn were getting married- the one who'd supported her friends and never told Rachel how she'd truly felt. And now that she finally had the courage to tell Rachel her feelings she learns that she's a mom, and happy, and now she just felt miserable.

"I'm sorry, Lily is teething," Rachel said, returning her focus to the phone call. "She just turned one last month and now her teeth are starting to come in and she's just miserable. You must know how that is- I'm sure you have kids by now, don't you?"

"No, I don't actually," Quinn replied, cringing at the sound of the tears in her voice. "Haven't been with the right person yet." I haven't been with you yet, she told herself silently.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that Quinn, you're such a lovely girl," Rachel said, though she sounded distracted- most likely by Lily. "I'm in the kitchen Finn!"

Quinn swallowed at his name, wiping her eyes.

"I won't take up anymore of your time, Rachel," Quinn said, clearing her throat. "It was nice to hear from you- I'm glad you're doing so well."

"Oh of course- you too Quinn!" Rachel said, voice speeding up somewhat to get in everything she needed to say before they hung up. "We do need to get coffee soon, I'd love to hear from you again!"

Quinn smiled painfully, though she knew Rachel couldn't see it.

"Goodbye Rachel," she whispered, clicking off the phone as the tears began fall.

_And now I pass you on my way_

_And if you stop, what could I say?_

_Apologizes for yesterday_

_Like a fool I walk away_

Quinn walked slowly down the street to the cafe she'd taken to spending her mornings at before going to work, jack dangling lazily from her fingers and a sketch pad in her arms. She'd found she enjoyed pencil sketching the people and items around her; it was relaxing for her.

Seating herself in a back corner table near the window she opened the pad to a clean page and took a sip of her caramel mocha latte, picking up the pencil she'd sharpened before she left her apartment. She was lazily outlining the face of the barista behind the counter when she heard a family voice; stiffening, she slowly raised her eyes to find herself looking at Rachel Berry.

The brunette still looked gorgeous; dressed in a beautiful floral sundress she pushed a small pink stroller with a toddler inside. The little girl was dressed in her own sundress, covered in pink and purple giraffes. She clapped her hands happily as she was pushed, her hair thick and dark brunette, like both her parents, with eyes identical to her mother's.

Quinn didn't make her presence known to Rachel; she simply watched as the brunette ordered and sat down, breaking apart the muffin for her daughter and sipping her coffee as she interacted with Lily. Slowly, her fingers began to work on a new sketch; one of Rachel and Lily. The angle she had was perfect, and soon enough her pencil was flying over the paper, her finger occasionally smudging in shadow or softening a line.

She was slightly out of breath by the time she finished, and Rachel was cleaning Lily up to leave. Looking down at the sketch once again she couldn't help but feel pleased; it looked good. Closing her sketch pad and cleaning the pencil off her fingertips with a napkin she stood, stretching slightly. She finished the last of her drink and threw her things out, looking over her shoulder at the mother and child once more.

Her heart broke a little in her chest as she watched Rachel lean forward, touching noses with Lily and beaming.

_I fill the page with my beliefs_

_It's all I have to keep_

_Tear it up and start again_

The notebook she kept was filled, line after line, with her thoughts. Most of them were regrets; Beth, her car accident- but mostly, they were about Rachel. The future they could have had, the things they could have done- everything.

She knew she had to move on, and she had accepted that. She'd also accepted, though, that she would probably never feel the way she did about Rachel with anyone else. You didn't forget the first person you fell in love with- and for Quinn, that was Rachel. Not Finn, not Puck, not Sam- Rachel Berry. That was the girl Quinn would say had stolen her heart.

Central Park was bustling with activity on this Saturday afternoon; she liked the noise, the commotion. It made her feel like she wasn't completely alone as she sat on the park bench and read her book.

"Quinn?"

Turning when someone tapped her shoulder, her eyes widened and her lips parted as she came face to face with Rachel. The brunette's hair was pulled back into a ponytail, dark eyes rimmed with liner and a slim pink jogging outfit on. There was no stroller with her; Quinn wondered if Finn was with Lily.

"Hey Rachel," Quinn said, trying to mask the surprise and pain that came with seeing her. She scooted over on the bench, offering her a seat. Rachel took it quickly, lips curving upwards into a smile. Leaning forward she wrapped the blonde into a hug, her breath warm against Quinn's neck.

"It's been so long since I've seen you!" Rachel exclaimed, her voice a mixture of emotions that Quinn couldn't entirely distinguish.

"Yeah, over ten years," Quinn said, smiling tightly as she was released by the brunette. Rachel covered Quinn's hand on the bench, fingers squeezing hers warmly.

"It's so great to see you Quinn- I've missed you!" Rachel's eyes were beaming, her lips curled up into the smile Quinn had missed seeing. She swallowed as she felt her heart breaking, pain radiating from her chest.

"I've missed you too Rachel," Quinn whispered, eyes beginning to glisten with tears. She pulled the piece of paper out of her book and handed it to the brunette, her curly script covering the paper. "I wrote this for you, and I promised myself if I ever saw you again, I'd give it to you."

She stood, collecting her things.

"What is it?" Rachel asked, turning the paper over and looking up at Quinn, dark eyes unreadable.

"A song," Quinn replied simply, smiling sadly. "Your song."

She looked at the children on the playset, eyes widening slightly as she found Finn pushing Lily in a swing, grinning as he played with his daughter. She knew she was doing the right thing- she could never break their family apart, not matter how much she wanted to be with Rachel.

"I'm really glad you're happy Rachel," Quinn said, looking back to the brunette, who was looking at Quinn like she didn't know what to say. "That will always be my song to you."

Smiling sadly one more time she began to walk away, humming the tune that went along with the words on the page she'd just handed to Rachel.

_This is your song_


End file.
